Well, it makes more sense then lizards, right?

"Hey, I just switched car insurance companies."

"Oh yeah, who'd you go with?"

"You know the one with a cowboy robot that shoot lasers out of its chest? I got that one."

"Makes sense."

Someone should have warned me

I think if you "generally consume 3 or more alcohol drinks every day" acetaminophen might not be your biggest problem. Just a thought. Oh and, yes, I took these pills. No, it wasn't before September.

You know I'd never hurt you baby!

Trying to locate a particular email today at the office and came across this in my search:


I don’t quite know what’s more disturbing; searching for “baby” and coming up with "abortion", or "lunch"?

Too late for Halloween?

This was supposed to go up on Halloween, but do to sheer laziness it didn't. I'm really procratinating with this blog...let me tell you a thing about procrastination....ah I'll tell you later.

Good evening ladies, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that I welcome you tonight.
And now I invite you to relax and pull up a bra
As Halloween proudly presents - your costume!

Be my guest!
Be my guest!

A tight dress to bear your chest
Squeeze them tight and you just might
Be ahead of all the rest

Sexy angel
Feathered wings
Makes me think
Wicked things

You’re dressed like you’re from heaven
But you’re on your beer eleven

Hottie cop
Looks her best
Please put me
Under arrest
This evening might end in jail
But it’s you I’d like to nail

Pretty princess
In her gown
I’d like to see her
Upside-down
I heard you say that I’m a dog
But won’t you kiss this handsome frog

Naughty nurse
It’s not a first
But of the thought
I’m not adverse
You got my temperature a rising
Oh this physical is quite surprising

For a beer maiden
I’ve been waiting
These kinds of Germans
Can keep invading
For you see, it’s not just me
Her jugs of beer, bring mounds of glee

Bras of leather
What a pleasure
Although they hide
A secret treasure
Fish net stockings and thigh high boots
No, I hardly notice your brown roots

Oh what a grand holiday indeed!

I digress

This song has ended
Don’t be offended
A simple message
No harm intended

There’s always more
Ways to dress
Like a whore
In Sunday’s best
So ladies….

Be my guest!
Be my guest!
Be my guest!

Let's all go to the pool

Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On